: s i m p l y m e :

: s i m p l y m e :

( 8:26 PM ) tIcKLeMe
Airgh!

Nightmare! Nightmare!

Couldn't sleep because I kept dreaming of them both together.

Haha. It was so silly.

It was none of my business yet my mind somehow made me dream of that.

Ewww *smacks her head*

"No, it's not because of another girl". "I know you won't believe me".

Rite. =P

Thank goodness I am not naive or else, I would've been conned to the max. What else is there for me to find out? Everything I know about this friend of mine, never seems to tally with what I was told by this friend of mine. Now I am even wondering if the name this fella told me was a real name or not. *having doubts*. Haha. Meany me. Seriously, if someone hides and tells so many lies (maybe I should use "much lies" because it's uncountable), you'll start wondering if that someone told you their real name too.

Anyways, like I said. Couldn't sleep. Thank goodness I had Jason, my "nephew", to accompany me throughout the whole night on the phone. Damn happening sial. I always thought to find a topic to talk to him about was a big headache but hey, we lepak-ed well earlier this morning!

Erm, feeling really bad for Mr.M. I am still finding a way to say no to him. He is... sighs. I don't know. *pouts*

Runs to Malacca. Problem free. Haha. One more day. Tralala.

Note to BMW (Chong Yew): God damn it. You made me kena fine for your mail! And I've got to collect it from Sg.Besi!

Yesterday, I recalled telling Celeste that we are going to BarFly after supper. I thought she would know we were just kidding since we were wearing house clothes out. "Go lah", she said. "With you," I continued. Then she started saying no, she can't go, she's not dressed for it... and stuffs like that. We both looked at her and asked her if we do look like we were dressed nicely and she replied saying to me " You always dress like you're going to clubbing anyway". Hur. As if lah. Haha. She even commented she has not seen me in pants before. Ah duis. Haha. :D

Man, I am so tired. ;\

A Note from Liz : Something's wrong with her phone line so she won't be coming online for a time being. #

( 7:29 PM ) tIcKLeMe
AAahhh... god! Save me!

I haven't been sleeping well for the past few days. I look so "urgh" right now. No idea why I just couldn't sleep.

It was already so hard to lay myself to sleep and when I close my eyes, I started thinking or dreaming of really weird stuff that I just wanna avoid. Then, I will start getting up just to prevent myself from dreaming further.

Man, I am weird.

I have really terrible eye bags now. *gasp!*

Am gonna cancel my make-up consultation later. Not in the mood to step out of the house, or rather, no face to step out of the house with such looks!!! *giggles*

I feel tired still. Legs are still aching but not so badly anymore.

These are some of the piccies taken on the reunion night (30th Nov 2002) with Jinni's super sensitive digi cam. There are about 20 more piccies but those are taken with various cameras. Will try to get those as soon as possible.

From left, are my one year seniors, Ka Wai, Chui Chui and Sandra, then it's me and my ex-classmate, Yeeng

That's Yee Nong and Me

Group Photo taken at the beginning of the event.

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( 10:04 AM ) tIcKLeMe
Hur.

Went for prayers just now. Was late, as usual. It went well. There was this preaching today, about forgiveness. It was really relevant to what I was feeling currently so yea, the message was good. It was about an hour plus long but it was interesting. I never bothered listening to any of the messages except for today's. I tried to relate myself to the positions and situation given by the lady who was speaking but I just couldn't. I guess I need a little bit more time.

I had the urge to tell my mom everything but I guess somehow it was just hard because there was still this barrier that is stopping me. Hehe. My aunt called my mom and asked for counselling just now. Everyone seems to turn to my mom when they have problems but me. I would just feel awkward. Hehe.

She knew I had something to ask her so she approached me. I gave her a "to-tell-or-not-to-tell" situation but it was like what? Barely even quarter of the whole "story". She said no matter how hard it is, if it's for someone's own good, I must warn. With that, if anything like how I thought things would turn out to be happens, I have tried my best to warn. I just tried to disagree but I knew she was right. Hehe but well, I think I will just wait for the right time. If it doesn't come, then I guess, too bad for my friend.

I also just found out my dad actually knows Li Shih's (my good friend from Penang in primary school) aunt. He even knew her aunt lived in Subang Jaya, which was actually how I got to find out about my dad knowing Li Shih's mom, aunt, dad and her 3 guy cousins. Amazing!

Am currently talking to w3rn, my soul sista, though he's actually a guy. Hehe. It has been a while since we last spoke to one another. It's good. I need to hang out more with peeps like this. Brings back good memories.
:)

#

( 9:37 PM ) tIcKLeMe
3 more days (including today).

3 more days to his return.

3 more days to ... I don't know what to expect. ;'\

I hope I have not miscalculated.

Every bit of me is missing him but ... does he know?

Will the 'weather' be cold once he has returned?

Or will it be summer?

*lets out a huge sigh*

Life has been really great lately but still . . .

Tsk.

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Everyone knows how I don't forget things easily. Pretty sentimental kinda person, you know? :) Always clinging on. Tsk. How sad and pathetic, I am.

Got a msg from Wilson yesterday. Tsk. Poor Wilson dear. He met with an accident. A slight one. *huggies*.

Learnt more about webbie designing from Jian Wen, Dicky aka XES, and Michelle. Thank you.

Supposed to meet Li Shih and Maxine and some other friends of theirs in Mid Valley but still no call. Guess they forget to call again, huh? :"(

*hugs* myself.

Am currently reading this site . Quite interesting. Reminds myself of secondary school and SPM, which I never did bother to even open my books and study. As a matter of fact, I have never studied for any of my exams. *giggles evilly*

Let's hope I'll pass my second semester. Tsk.

For some entertainment, click here.

Gone missing Mr. You-know-who. ;'\
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      ( 8:40 PM ) tIcKLeMe
Great! Just great! I am so like Michael J. Fox in last week's episode of Spin City. I just can't get a decent sleep. I thought by setting my phone on silence mode, everything will be ok, and I could finally sleep in PEACE but no, no. The lion dance troupe were practising once again and wait, upstairs, they're doing some renovation and downstairs too! What the fuck? I hear drilling everywhere! And the bloody noisy instruments from the lion dance troupe are killing me! GOD! Save me! Only 5 hours of sleep!

Checked my phone, 5 missed calls, 4 new numbers, and 2 sms-es. None from Mr. M though, suprisingly. Maybe he got my hint last nite. Finally! At last!

Will be meeting with Peter for lunch. Then movie with Shawn. #

      ( 8:39 PM ) tIcKLeMe
Great! Just great! I am so like Michael J. Fox in last week's episode of Spin City. I just can't get a decent sleep. I thought by setting my phone on silence mode, everything will be ok, and I could finally sleep in PEACE but no, no. The lion dance troupe were practising once again and wait, upstairs, they're doing some renovation and downstairs too! What the fuck? I hear drilling everywhere! And the bloody noisy instruments from the lion dance troupe are killing me! GOD! Save me! Only 5 hours of sleep!

Checked my phone, 5 missed calls, 4 new numbers, and 2 sms-es. None from Mr. M though, suprisingly. Maybe he got my hint last nite. Finally! At last!

Will be meeting with Peter for lunch. Then movie with Shawn. #

      ( 5:59 AM ) tIcKLeMe
Oh my god. You have no idea how tired I am. I was once again got woken up by a phone call, from Mr. M. He is really getting on my nerves. He keeps calling every two hours, talking all kinda craps which only irritates me more till 5 something am. Of course, there were some other brainless clients which called me around that time. Out of a sudden, I became such a hot stuff! My phone just couldn't stop ringing and just as I thought I could really sleep properly, at 9 am, my phone started ringing again! God, save me!

Went out to Subang Parade 's Swensen's to meet up with my baby, Lizzie. *hugs* It has been quite a while since I last saw her. My mamasan, Caren was there with me too! *hugs* mamasan. It was lovely. I felt really guilty because her manager had the drinks on the house! It was crazy! How sweet of him! *grins*

Lizzie bought us crunchie cones. How sweet of her. *hugs* Was there for 4 hours. Andrew and Peter joined us later.

Thanx mamasan for accompanying me in Pyramid. Saw lotsa familiar faces. Glad to see Michelle and Strachan. Nothing much.

Aik Sua managed to find an office job for me. Gotta send my resume out by tonite. Thanx Aik Sua. *hugs*.

Mr. M bugged me a couple of times again, as usual. Just feel like cancelling the call, really.

Oh yea, did you know that I kissed Celeste yesterday? Wow! Another kiss and tell story. Haha. It was actually a dare which they dared me to do it on Andrew but I demo-ed it on Celeste. Hehe.

Well, lotsa stuff happening lately that's confusing me. Some are pissing me off, some are chilling me out. I guess guys will be guys lah? :) The truth unfolds itself bit by bit. The more it unfolds, the more the wound grows but it will heal. As a matter of fact, it is healing. It just makes me wonder why must I find out about all this by myself? Why couldn't he just tell me? What else is he hiding from me? Why is he avoiding me? Wasn't it his idea to stay as friends, or even much better than friends, he stressed? Why does he keep telling me lies? Questions will remain unanswered until of course, I someday, finds out. :) *grins*

Also, wish he wasn't so naive about certain things. Wish him all the best, really. Too bad, a blog ain't a personal diary. You've gotta censor lotsa stuff you know although it could break someone's heart. Life sure is hard, ain't it?

T.care. Too tired. *yawns* #

( 12:56 AM ) tIcKLeMe
Just got back from my interview with Mr. Stephen Yap, from Mahatel regarding the me and Shawn being Streamyx agents. It went alright I guess. Just had my lunch. Been porking out alot lately. Man, I really need to shed some weight off.

Not feeling really good lately. Physically and emotionally. He :) Nah, not bothered to explain further.

On Sunday, my Caren mamasan was being such a darling. She did the one thing that even those who are close to me would not do. Man, I love her so much! *smuahs* and *hugs* mamasan. Not only did I woke her up from her sleep to ask her to accompany me to Midvalley, she even spent me my Kodomo Bento set and some other sushis at Sushi King, which by the way, is not cheap! And after doing some shopping, which she spent quite a bomb too, she bought me my all time fav drink, Extreme Mocha from San Francisco! I owe her a really big favor! I promise to spend her the moment I get paid. *smuahs* Caren mamasan.

We went to meet Joshua for my so-called interview. The job looks really interesting and I know if I were to work there, the experience would be really good. I would be able to learn so much from him and the shop but I felt like I wasn't suitable enough for the job because I have zero knowledge on PDAs, notebooks, and others. Am still considering the job, though I am now a Streamyx agent.

We stayed at Joshua's shop for 2 hours, playing Text Twist from Yahoo! games. Hur. Met up with Sharon and Melissa @ sourbee. Couldn't wait for Sifo to come. Left for dinner at ss2:Murni with Shawn and Caren.

Hur. That's all for now. Ta!

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( 8:35 PM ) tIcKLeMe
*giggles* *laughs* *giggles*.

Take a guess. I am for once, not pouting, grumbling, whining and complaining. =) Better appreciate it as it doesn't happen often.

Don't bother guessing what might have happened. Things have not changed a single bit. It is just that I have finally began to accept the fact that certain things in life will not be how you want it to be. If things don't work out, fine. I will always get another chance. It's only a matter of time. Wasted though, after all that we've been through. che wah che wah , look who's talking?! *giggles*

Well, seriously. It's true! Things would be so much better if my Brian angel was still alive. My one and only problem solver. Hur. Can't wish for him to come back though. BRIAN angel, I miss you muchie much. *hugs* Love ya too, angel. =)

NO! I am not being depressive over that anymore. Am glad he's gone too because he wasn't really enjoying his life. :) Rite!

Did I mentioned that last week my dad brought me to search for Highland Towers? Yea, the place where that tragic incident happened back in 1995. Couldn't find the road leading to that place though. Can only see it from the highway. Looks creepy alright, especially after all those story-telling Deon told. Found some creepier looking abandoned houses while trying to look for the road that leads to Highland Towers though. Took vids of it.

Met Beatrice yesterday on the way to college. Hrmphs. No comments. Just felt like saying it.

Watched Halloween : Resurrection. Very predictable. I knew barely about the movie except that it's the continuation part for Halloween : H20. Wanted to watched Double Vision. Well, will be doing it today, hopefully.

Oh, I need lotsa hugs. To show that I am actually being loved. Those who reads this, a hug from you in my comment box pls? :) Even found a suitable pix for it. There you go :

I need a job! lalalala (sings to the tune of P.Diddy's I need a girl's song). Office job, if possible. 3 months off. Nothing to do. *screams* :)

Oh, have I mentioned that my buffer fish died? No, not the meat eater but the other tamer one. *pouts*

Okay, one more paper to go! Screwed the rest. No biggie. :) *smiles*

I think I am sick of smiling. It is just so not me! :)

Haha. Ok. Nappy time. Tata. :D

Wait. OMG! Cookiez has a new site! And she never mentioned about it to me. *pouts*
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( 6:19 AM ) tIcKLeMe
I think I have been cursed. After receiving a message from a friend yesterday, it had me thinking. He stated that I have never been happy since the first day knew me, which was about a year plus ago. I knew I was very happy last month because I thought I had a dream come true,meeting someone who clicks so well with me, who is like some missing jigsaw puzzle piece that has been missing for ages. Spoke too soon I guess.

People who knows me (don't have to know me well to know) that I haven't been smiling for weeks. Any idiot who reads my past entries would notice that I haven't been quite happy for quite some time. After not seeing HIM for days, I finally managed to crack a smile today and everyone else was suprised to see me in such a cheerful mood. I had no idea why was I smiling away for. Maybe it's because I finally got to see HIM but still, I feel that I am losing HIM.

I haven't managed to get a good sleep for the past two weeks, being so afraid that things would end soon. Usually, I never go wrong with my instincts. About 95% of the time, I am always right. I can't sleep without questioning myself if THE END would come soon. Then I'll get all emotional and all, without HIM knowing. This sucks. There are so many things that I want to express, but couldn't. I believe it should be P&C. Wouldn't be nice if I tell the whole world my personal problems, eh (finally, I realised that!)? :)

It's always me who makes the initiative to call, to message and to ask HIM out. It is like as though I am the only one that is wanting to talk to HIM. After today's conversation on the phone, it made me felt worse. Well, couldn't blame HIM though. HE is busy with his studies, perhaps. The reason I always tell myself to comfort and make me feel better. I always tell others who seek me for a shoulder to cry on that everything changes. It's either for the better or for worst. Guess it's easier said. It hurts, alright. Grr.. an old friend called and reminded me of HIM. It sucked. Bahs, I'm being the depressive bitch again.

Screwed my papers yesterday. F* it. Partly screwed mine today. Lets see about the other 3 papers that are yet to come.

My bloody buffer fish is a meat eater. Attacks all my other fishies. My feng shui fish's eggs are all gone. Bloody carp ate them.

Nothing else. Ta. #

*ultimately silly*